Its been such a funny experience to adjust to Colorado culture. For probably over a year before we moved I had been following Colorado and Denver new sites and pages that talk about it, looking for any information to help me know what to expect. Moving to the South had a lot of unexpected things about it that I wish I had known from the get-go because it would have made the transition easier. But the internet was not what it is today, so it didn't occur to me to look there back then.
Its dangerous to use only the internet to find information about a place though. Based on my info-gathering, there was/is a divide among "native" Coloradans and "transplants." Basically, the Denver population has surged in the past decade or so, and the natives are pissed that they have to share space with all of us newcomers. I was kind of nervous that I wouldn't be as accepted because of my "transplant" status. But the other side of me knew if it was such a problem, then there'd be plenty of other transplants like me to befriend, and it'd be fine. (And yes, that is the case).
The saying "don't read the comments" couldn't be more true. I developed an idea that the average native Denverite was totally enraged about outsiders and that being from out of state would be something that people would have to forgive me for. The fear was further confirmed when Chuck and I flew out in February to scout out areas and apartments to live in. We saw many, many cars on the road with "Native" bumper stickers.
Anyway, I consider it a sign that I've made lots of progress in this area because now when I see these stickers on cars, instead of feeling a little insecure, I now just kind of inwardly giggle at the absurdity of it and move along.
Another big change I've had to adjust to is how differently people interact with one another on a day-to-day basis. I've had nothing but positive experiences with people I'm developing friendships with or see regularly. But the chance encounters with strangers are just totally different then they are in Georgia. And the funny thing is, in Georgia, it took me a long time to get used to everyone greeting everyone else all the time, stranger or friend. When you have kids, its even more intense because usually lots of people want to stop and chat with the kiddos or fawn over how cute they are. Of course, this is great, but as an introvert it could sometimes be exhausting. Sometimes I just want to get in and out of a place, talking to as few people as possible. But I didn't realize how much I had adjusted to that and started to actually enjoy the attention people gave us, because after moving I was like, how are we ever going to make friends if people don't stop and talk to each other all the time?! Why aren't people smiling at me? Can they tell I'm a transplant?? lol.
Its nice to see how far I've come in three months. I've met some really great people who I feel like I've known forever. So the fear of not fitting in has lifted. It also helps to have found a church community that we actually like and feels authentic. I think I've been a kind of spiritual nomad my entire life, never fully fitting into any church I attended. I don't feel that way with the one we found (and we found it on our first try! no church shopping at all! yay!) Until recently church has felt like such a stale, boring place where you go just to get hurt by people you trust. And don't dare discuss your political views or have theological beliefs outside the mainstream. It came to a point where it all felt like a waste of time. Why show up to a place where you kind of have to pretend to be somebody different just so you can not get in an unnecessary argument? Or where you feel like you're hearing the same thing said over and over, just in different ways, where it gets to the point that no one is interested in taking chances or trying new ways to live out the Gospel?
I'm at a point in life where I just don't even care what people think about my faith. No one's disapproval is going to stop me from being who I am before God. God isn't concerned with the minutia of my belief system. He cares whether I'm loving him and loving others. And if loving him and loving others is more easily done while rejecting patriarchy, fatalism, and Bible studies, then so be it. And I feel like that approach is accepted in my new place. I feel like I'm actually learning new things at church instead of just going so that my kids get some kind of outside spiritual formation and I get to check the box marked "Well, I tried" on my imaginary spiritual to-do list.
Well this kinda went off the rails. Everything comes back to either Jesus or the church with me (for better or worse!) I think one of the deep longings of this move was to find a Christian community where we didn't have to guard ourselves quite so much and I think we've found it. Hallelujah!
