Money, money, money (Money!)

The Accord several years ago.
The snow masks the paint problem quite well.

This is one of the posts I was talking about that I never finished because either I was distracted by children or couldn't say it just right, or something or another. So it's out-of-date. We bought a new car a month ago. We still have the Accord though. Anyway, here it is:

Last post I mentioned that Ivy was at summer camp. And part of the reason for that is that Chuck's new job allows a certain amount of money per pay period to go towards childcare. As in, they give us free money to use for someone to watch our kids. Which is great because we've never been able to afford that luxury up until now because of the tight budget we were on while Chuck was in school and our choice for me to stay home and live off of one income. And it's doubly great because it can only be used on that. So I don't have to feel any guilt about using it because that's all it can be used on anyway. Otherwise, I'd feel like we needed to use any extra money on paying off student loans or our mortgage or something. 

It feels great to be able to reap some of the benefits of all the work we've done the past few years. It was hard to live on the budget we had, and it's great to now "loosen the belt" a little bit, so to speak. 

But I wanted to reflect on the things I learned over the past few years. Because as hard as it was, I'm really glad we went through it. My perspective on so many things has changed as a result of having to change our lifestyle. And I don't want to lose sight of those things as we move forward.

One thing we learned was to fix things ourselves. I've always been kind of interested in cars and since both of ours have 185,000 miles and 165,000 miles on them, we have had ample opportunity to troubleshoot all sorts of problems. We worked on the radiator, air conditioning, replaced spark plugs, air filters, batteries, radiator hoses. So thanks, the internet, for having resources with which to figure things out on our own instead of paying an arm and a leg for someone else to do it. We also learned to ask for help from our car savvy friends, which can also be another difficult thing to do, but is always worth it.

I also learned to get over myself. No, you don't need the fancy shampoo or makeup. The cheap stuff works just the same in almost every case. Shampoo has a lot less of an effect over the final outcome of your hair than the shampoo company would have you believe. Same with makeup. And a million other personal care stuff...oh, and name brand groceries.

My car ≠ my value or how cool I am. I still get to deal with this one. :) We go to church in an area that is well-to-do. And our 1998 Accord needs a new paint job, let's just leave it at that. A couple months ago, someone at church was literally gawking at our car. Like, she looked it over as she walked by, and then even while she was past us, she turned around to continue surveying the ol' beater. I wanted to like wave at her and be like, "Yes, they let people like us in here! Can you believe it?" Oh, it's a good thing I'm not a quick thinker, or I'd get myself in a lot more trouble than I do. ;) Anyway, my feelings and attachment to my car has gradually lifted and *most* of the time I'm able to differentiate who I am from the car that I drive. If only I could convince the rest of the world that this is so.

I also learned to not judge other people's purchases or belongings. I wrote in another post about how people (including myself) tend to judge people in a tough financial spot if they ever see them enjoying something good or having something that is deemed not-completely-necessary. I received plenty of gifts from generous friends and family during our tight-budget time that I'm sure people judged, not knowing where those gifts came from or not knowing that they were gifts at all. This is an ongoing struggle for me, as judging is pretty much a way of life for me. But it's something worth fighting against, because I almost never have all the facts of a situation and therefore generally have no business judging other people's actions. 

My clothing and my kid's clothing ≠ my value. Oh man, I think I came out of the womb being taught and believing that I am what I wear. But after you get over not having a huge clothing budget, it's kind of a relief. There's only so many choices in your closet; you pick one; you move on. It's freed up so much of my thought life. Have you ever been around people who intimidate you with their appearance? Like they dress so well and put so much into having their hair just so and whatnot and you just feel like a homely nerdface around them? ...just me then? :) Well, I never want to be the person who makes someone else feel like that. I hate feeling that way and I don't want people to think they are less valuable just from being around me. So I'm pretty sure I haven't been intimidating people with my appearance these days. Though being a mom, that's kind of a given. My clothing can often be equally worn around the house, gym, or as pajamas. And with a newborn, that's often how it works. Gym shorts and T-shirt...everywhere. :)

Well, maybe I'll add some more observations later, because I have a ton more, but they aren't necessarily interesting to write about. We'll see.